6 Retro Candies Florida Kids Regret Ever Trying & 6 Worth The Sugar Rush Again
Growing up in Florida meant sweating through summer days with a sticky treat in hand and pockets full of corner store treasures.
I spent my allowance on colorful wrappers and bizarre flavors, some delightful and others downright disturbing.
Let’s unwrap some candy memories – the ones that make us cringe and those worth hunting down for another taste of childhood magic.
1. Candy Cigarettes: The Chalk Sticks That Fooled No One
My fifth-grade self thought I was the coolest kid on the block, pretending to ‘smoke’ these chalky white sticks. Parents hated them, dentists cringed at them, and honestly, our taste buds weren’t fans either. The flavor? Imagine licking a dusty chalkboard with a hint of sweetness that disappeared faster than our Florida afternoon showers.
These powdery disappointments left white residue on your fingers and tasted like sugared cardboard. While they might’ve seemed rebellious at the time, these faux cigarettes were nothing but a disappointing sugar delivery system that left us with weird breath and confused adults wondering why anyone would market smoking to children.
2. Candy Necklaces: Jewelry That Left Battle Scars
Remember wearing these elastic nightmares around your neck during recess? What started as a fashion statement quickly turned into a sticky, saliva-coated rope that collected every bit of dirt, hair, and playground debris. Florida humidity made these sugary beads melt slightly, creating a tacky texture that cemented to your skin.
By lunchtime, that pristine candy necklace transformed into a grimy, partially-eaten disaster with telltale pink marks circling your neck. The worst part wasn’t even the questionable hygiene—it was the inevitable elastic snap that would send remaining candy pieces flying across the classroom, leaving you with nothing but a wet string and embarrassment. Not worth the three seconds of flavor each bead provided.
3. Sugar Daddies: The Dental Work Fundraisers
These caramel catastrophes were literally designed to torture children. One fateful summer afternoon at Tampa Palms Mall, I bit into what looked like an innocent caramel lollipop and nearly left my front teeth embedded in its amber grip. The rock-hard texture softened eventually—after about three days of continuous sucking—into a jaw-cementing goo that found every filling and loose tooth in your mouth.
Florida’s humidity sometimes made them slightly more forgiving, but they remained essentially edible superglue. My dentist probably sent his kids to college thanks to the damage these toffee terrors caused. The flavor wasn’t even worth the orthodontic risk—just bland sweetness with notes of dental anxiety and regret.
4. Idaho Spud: The Chocolate-Covered Identity Crisis
Who thought making candy resemble a dirty potato was a good idea? My cousin from Tallahassee brought these bizarre treats to our family reunion in Ocala, and everyone politely took one bite before finding creative ways to dispose of them. The exterior’s cocoa-flavored coating flaked off to reveal a marshmallow center with the consistency of slightly damp memory foam.
The coconut coating added a texture that can only be described as ‘suspicious.’ The flavor combination wasn’t offensive—just deeply confusing. Why was I eating something called a ‘spud’ that tasted like coconut and chocolate? Why was Idaho represented in Florida’s candy scene? These existential questions haunted me more than the taste, which honestly just left me puzzled rather than pleased.
5. Bonkers: The Fruit Chews That Vanished For Good Reason
The commercials promised fruit-flavored ecstasy—reality delivered something closer to fruity industrial caulking. These chewy rectangles appeared in my Halloween bucket during the late 80s, and my initial excitement quickly transformed into jaw-aching regret. Bonkers stuck to every surface they touched: teeth, braces, the roof of your mouth, and even the wrapper itself.
The Florida heat made them fuse into a solid block of fruit-adjacent substance that required mining equipment to separate. The flavor wasn’t terrible—a chemical approximation of fruit that started promisingly enough. But the texture! Like chewing sun-baked bubble gum that had been pre-chewed by someone else. Their disappearance from store shelves wasn’t the tragedy the nostalgic internet makes it out to be.
6. Pop Rocks: The Mouth Firecrackers No One Asked For
My first encounter with Pop Rocks happened at Daytona Beach when my friend Tommy convinced me they were ‘just like regular candy.’ The surprise attack of fizzy explosions sent me into a panic, certain my mouth was experiencing some kind of chemical reaction. The sensation wasn’t painful exactly—more like hosting an unwanted science experiment on your tongue.
The crackling, popping sensation felt unnatural, and the urban legend about mixing them with soda causing stomach explosions didn’t help their reputation. The actual flavor took a backseat to the alarming sensation. Cherry, blue raspberry, whatever—who could taste anything while worried about their tongue being under attack? Some kids loved the novelty; I preferred candy that didn’t fight back.
7. Jolly Rancher: Hard Candy Perfection Worth Every Minute
Finding a Watermelon Jolly Rancher at the bottom of my backpack after a long day at Clearwater Beach was better than discovering buried treasure! These gem-like candies delivered intense fruit flavor that lasted through an entire episode of my favorite after-school cartoon. The glass-like texture slowly dissolved, releasing concentrated fruity goodness that transformed ordinary moments into special ones.
Green Apple had that perfect tartness, while Blue Raspberry somehow captured the essence of summer in crystalline form. My grandmother always kept a bowl of these jewel-toned treats on her coffee table in St. Petersburg. We’d sort them by color, trading for favorites while playing cards. Even now, unwrapping that crinkly cellophane instantly transports me back to those sweet Florida afternoons.
8. Runts: Tiny Fruit-Shaped Flavor Bombs
The vending machine outside Publix in Naples became my weekly destination just for these little fruity characters. Each tiny banana, strawberry, and orange packed more flavor than seemed physically possible for something so small. The satisfying crunch gave way to a tangy sweetness that perfectly mimicked the fruits they resembled. The bananas—controversial to some—were my absolute favorites, with their creamy artificial flavor that bore only a passing resemblance to actual bananas.
Trading Runts with friends created its own economy on the playground. Green apples were practically currency, while everyone mysteriously avoided the lime ones. These tiny treasures taught me important negotiation skills and provided the perfect portable sweet for Florida bike rides and beach days.
9. Mallo Cup: The Chocolate-Marshmallow Marvel
Hidden in the candy aisle of our local Jacksonville convenience store sat these unassuming cups of pure joy. Unlike their famous peanut butter cousins, Mallo Cups combined velvety chocolate with a pillowy marshmallow center that melted perfectly in Florida’s perpetual warmth. The coconut-flecked chocolate shell provided just enough structure before giving way to that cloud-like marshmallow center.
Each package came with cardboard coins you could collect and redeem for prizes—making the experience both a treat and an investment opportunity for my eight-year-old self. Finding these treasures became a mission during family road trips across the Sunshine State. Something about the texture combination—not quite s’more, not quite candy bar—created a uniquely satisfying experience that modern confections haven’t managed to replicate.
10. Life Savers: The Candy With A Hole Lot Of Memories
My grandfather’s shirt pocket always contained a roll of these ring-shaped wonders. During long church services in Miami, he’d discreetly pass one over—the slight crinkle of the wax paper wrapper our little secret. The Five Flavor roll offered a rainbow of possibilities. Cherry and watermelon delivered sweet relief, while pineapple brought tropical vibes that matched our Florida surroundings. ž
The hole in the middle served no practical purpose but somehow made the candy more fun—perfect for wearing on pinky fingers before consumption. Winter green Life Savers revealed their special power when bitten in a dark room—they actually sparked! This scientific marvel made sleepovers at my Tampa cousin’s house magical as we chomped in the darkness, creating tiny lightning storms in our mouths.
11. Satellite Wafers: Flying Saucer Delights
These pastel-colored flying saucers landed in my Orlando elementary school every Valentine’s Day. The paper-thin wafer exterior dissolved with a satisfying melt-away texture, revealing a hidden cargo of tangy candy beads inside—a perfect metaphor for space exploration in edible form. The wafer itself tasted like communion meets Lucky Charms marshmallow, with that distinctive melt-on-your-tongue quality.
But the real magic happened when the shell dissolved enough to release those tiny candy beads, creating a textural adventure unlike anything else in the candy universe. Trading colors became serious business among third-graders. Everyone knew the pink ones tasted exactly like the white ones, but we maintained the illusion of difference. These extraterrestrial treats connected perfectly to our Space Coast heritage and NASA-inspired Florida dreams.
12. Sixlets: The Chocolate Balls That Never Disappointed
Halloween in Sarasota meant comparing candy hauls with neighborhood kids, and finding tubes of Sixlets always prompted a victory dance. These little chocolate spheres in their crinkly cellophane tube promised consistent satisfaction without the fancy packaging or marketing gimmicks. The candy shell had just the right crunch before revealing the malted chocolate interior—not quite M&Ms, not quite malted milk balls, but something uniquely wonderful.
Their slightly waxy texture somehow enhanced the experience, making them resistant to Florida’s melting powers. My sister and I developed an elaborate Sixlets ritual: arranging them by color, creating patterns, then eating them in precise order. The chocolate flavor wasn’t gourmet, but it delivered exactly what it promised—reliable sweetness with that distinctive malty undertone that no other candy has successfully duplicated.