16 ’80s School Lunch Treats That Are No Longer Served
Remember when school lunch was the highlight of the day? Back in the ’80s, cafeteria trays held treasures that today’s kids will never experience.
I still dream about those rectangular pizza slices and chocolate milk cartons that made the school day bearable.
Join me for a tasty trip down memory lane as we revisit these cafeteria classics that have sadly disappeared.
1. Pizza Squares
Spongy rectangles of doughy goodness topped with tangy tomato sauce and questionable cheese! We’d race to the cafeteria when these were on the menu.
Nobody cared that they were barely recognizable as pizza. The crispy edges were worth fighting over, and trading corner pieces became serious business during lunch period.
2. Peanut Butter And Jelly Graham Cracker Sandwiches
Lunch ladies got creative with these crunchy delights! Instead of bread, they’d spread peanut butter and grape jelly between two graham crackers.
Sweet, sticky, and always causing a mess, these treats were perfect for trading.
Modern allergy procedures have permanently banned the seductive mix of honey-kissed graham taste and creamy peanut butter.
3. Sloppy Joes
Ground beef swimming in tangy-sweet sauce, barely contained by a white hamburger bun. Lunchroom legends were born from the inevitable shirt stains these beauties caused!
The lunch ladies would scoop the steaming mixture with ice cream scoops, creating meat volcanoes that erupted the moment you took a bite. Napkins were essential accessories, not optional additions.
4. Fish Sticks And Tartar Sauce
Friday’s fishy offering arrived with mathematical precision – four golden rectangles accompanied by a dollop of tangy tartar sauce. Catholic schools made these a religious experience!
That initial bite’s crunch revealed enigmatic white fish within. To extend their shelf life and prevent the inevitable soggy last stick, we would repeatedly dip them in that creamy sauce.
5. Tater Tots
Golden nuggets of potato perfection! These crispy cylinders arrived on our trays steaming hot, often swimming in a puddle of ketchup.
Lunch table politics revolved around who had extras to share. Some kids would hoard them like treasure, while others built elaborate ketchup moats around their potato fortresses. Nothing today compares to that perfect cafeteria tot crunch.
6. Turkey Gravy Over Mashed Potatoes
Mountains of whipped potatoes with craters filled with mystery gravy! The lunch ladies wielded those ice cream scoops like artists, creating potato volcanoes on our trays.
Sometimes the gravy had turkey bits floating in it, sometimes not. Nobody questioned what meat actually created that brown river of salty goodness. We just dove in with our sporks, grateful for something hot on cold winter days.
7. Beef And Cheese Nachos
Beneath an avalanche of neon cheese sauce and mystery meat are yellow corn chips! There was little similarity between these nachos and their Mexican counterpart.
The school version featured suspiciously smooth cheese that hardened into concrete if you didn’t eat fast enough. The beef crumbles were sparse treasures to be hunted amid the sea of soggy chips and Day-Glo cheese product.
8. Chili Mac
Macaroni noodles swimming in a sea of mild chili created this bizarre but beloved cafeteria fusion dish! Sprinkled with government cheese, this concoction somehow worked magic.
Children would mix everything into a slurry that was orange and crimson. For added texture, the courageous ones added those tiny oyster cracker packets. When dietary regulations tightened in the 1990s, this robust combination vanished from menus.
9. Rectangle Chocolate Cake With Icing
Chocolatey perfection cut into precise squares topped with fudge frosting so thick you could write your name in it!
You were inspired to finish the other items in your tray by this cake.
Surprisingly, the bottom layer was wet and springy. However, that frosting remained fudgy below and developed a tiny crust on top. To save for last, children would use plastic sporks to scrape it off.
10. Fruit Cocktail Cups
Metallic-tasting syrup housed pale chunks of pears, peaches, grapes, and that lone neon-red cherry everyone fought over! These little tin cups were dessert when we hadn’t earned cake.
Opening them required serious dexterity. The sharp-edged lids often resulted in minor injuries deemed acceptable in pursuit of that coveted maraschino cherry. The fruit itself was mushy and barely identifiable, swimming in thick, overly sweet liquid.
11. Mini Corn Dogs
Bite-sized hot dog nuggets wrapped in sweet cornbread batter made these the ultimate finger food! Appearing maybe once a month, mini corn dog day caused cafeteria celebrations.
Served with a squirt of mustard on the side, these little beauties were perfect for dipping. Some kids would nibble the breading off first, saving the hot dog center for last – a technique that horrified the lunch monitors.
12. Salisbury Steak With Brown Gravy
Oval meat patties drowning in glossy brown gravy attempted to bring fancy restaurant vibes to the cafeteria! Nobody was duped by these mysterious beef ovals.
There were small bits of what might have been onions throughout, and the texture was in between a hamburger and a meatloaf. We ate them together with the accompanying instant mashed potatoes, making gravy lakes despite their dubious composition.
13. Canned Green Beans
Olive-colored, limp vegetable strands that had surrendered all structural integrity during their time in industrial-sized cans! These beans were cafeteria currency – easily traded for desserts.
Served with a slotted spoon to drain the metallic-tasting liquid, they somehow managed to be both mushy and stringy simultaneously. The lunch ladies insisted they counted as a vegetable despite lacking any nutritional value or resemblance to fresh produce.
14. Square Cheese Pizza Fridays
The weekly high point that made it worthwhile to stay up till Friday! Unlike the pizza squares, these bigger slices made from sheet pans caused havoc in the cafeteria.
On pizza day, lines started to form early. While latecomers had to deal with sauce-heavy corners, the fortunate children at the front received slices that were actually covered in cheese. Throughout the morning, the aroma of freshly baked pizza filled the hallways, making it impossible to focus.
15. Carton Chocolate Milk
Half-pint cardboard containers of chocolatey goodness that required serious straw-poking skills!
These tiny cartons were exchanged for chips or cookies and served as lunchroom money.
It was an art to open them. You would be dealing with a milk explosion if you pulled the incorrect tab. It was the most sought-after beverage option since the chocolate version was extremely sweet, more like melted ice cream than real milk.
16. Jello With Fruit Suspended Inside
Jiggly squares of artificially flavored gelatin containing floating fruit chunks defying gravity!
These vibrant treats were edible scientific experiments.
Typically orange or red, the gelatin swayed unsteadily on plastic spoons. Throughout, the fruit pieces, which were usually canned pears or peaches, lingered eerily. A rush of sweet taste was emitted with every mouthful, briefly discoloring our tongues.