5 Vintage Candies Pennsylvanians Wish They’d Never Tried & 5 They’d Still Love To Enjoy Again
Growing up in Pennsylvania, I’ve tasted my fair share of candy treasures and tragedies.
Our state’s rich confectionery history has given us some unforgettable treats, but not all memories are sweet ones!
Some vintage candies left us wondering what the manufacturers were thinking, while others disappeared too soon, leaving a hole in our hearts (and sweet tooths).
Let’s unwrap these nostalgic goodies – the good, the bad, and the downright bizarre.
1. Mary Jane Peanut Butter Kisses: The Halloween Heartbreak
Those black and orange wrappers still haunt my Halloween memories! As kids, we’d groan when spotting these molasses and peanut butter chews in our trick-or-treat bags. My grandma loved them, but for us youngsters, they were practically a punishment.
The texture was their biggest crime – somehow simultaneously too hard and too sticky. You’d need superhuman jaw strength just to chew them, and then they’d cement your teeth together like industrial adhesive. Plus, that weird molasses flavor never matched the peanut butter promise.
Rumor has it some neighborhoods still hand these out, and children still trade them away faster than baseball cards. Pennsylvania kids developed a sixth sense for spotting these wax-paper-wrapped disappointments before they even hit the candy bowl!
2. Peanut Butter Potato Candy: Grandma’s Bizarre Creation
First time my aunt served this Pennsylvania Dutch concoction, I thought she was pranking me. Potatoes? In candy? The combination sounded like something dreamed up during the Great Depression – which, as it turns out, it actually was!
Mashed potatoes mixed with powdered sugar, rolled flat, slathered with peanut butter, then rolled up like a jelly roll. The result resembled little pinwheels that tasted surprisingly sweet, though the gritty texture always gave away its humble potato origins.
While some families still make this at Christmas, most of us breathed a sigh of relief when store-bought candies became more available. The concept was clever for hard times, but let’s be honest – potatoes belong beside candy on the dinner table, not inside it!
3. Candy Raisins: The Name That Lied
Despite what the name suggests, these yellow blobs contained exactly zero raisins! My first encounter with Candy Raisins happened at my uncle’s corner store in Pittsburgh. He swore they were popular, but my taste buds begged to differ.
The waxy, banana-adjacent flavor never quite committed to any identifiable taste. Were they supposed to be fruit-flavored? Maybe. Did they succeed? Absolutely not. The texture was equally confusing – somewhere between gummy bears and candle wax, with a strange chew that seemed to multiply in your mouth.
Most puzzling was their stubborn resistance to melting. You could suck on one for what felt like hours with minimal progress. Pennsylvania winters seemed shorter than the time it took to finish just one of these mysterious yellow lumps!
4. Zagnut Bars: The Coconut Dilemma
My grandfather kept these in his tackle box during fishing trips to Lake Erie. The smell of fish bait and Zagnut bars is forever linked in my memory – neither particularly pleasant!
Imagine a candy bar entirely coated in dry, brittle coconut flakes that scattered everywhere with each bite. The interior wasn’t much better – a crumbly peanut butter center that somehow managed to be both too sweet and too salty. The texture resembled compressed sawdust more than anything meant for human consumption.
The worst part? Those pesky coconut flakes would embed themselves in your clothes, car seats, and somehow even your hair. One Zagnut bar could leave evidence for days, like coconut dandruff that refused to disappear. Pennsylvania convenience stores still stock them occasionally, but most of us learned our lesson the first time!
5. Hershey’s Swoops: The Chocolate Identity Crisis
Remember these odd Pringles-shaped chocolate slices? As a proud Pennsylvanian from Hershey’s backyard, I wanted to love them. The commercials made them look so fun – curvy chocolate pieces that supposedly enhanced the flavor experience.
Reality was less impressive. The thin chocolate slabs melted instantly upon touching them, leaving your fingers looking like you’d been fingerprinted at the police station. And that shape? It made no sense for chocolate. The curves created an awkward eating experience where the chocolate either broke into shards or melted before reaching your mouth.
Their brief early-2000s existence suggests other Pennsylvania chocolate lovers agreed with me. Hershey’s eventually pulled the plug on this confectionery experiment. Sometimes innovation goes too far, even for a chocolate giant in our chocolate-loving state!
6. Clark Bar: Pittsburgh’s Golden Child
My dad would bring home Clark Bars every Friday after work at the steel mill. This crunchy peanut butter center wrapped in milk chocolate wasn’t just candy – it was Pittsburgh pride in edible form!
Created in Pittsburgh’s North Side in 1917, the Clark Bar became our city’s sweet ambassador. The perfect balance of crispy, crunchy interior with chocolate coating created a textural masterpiece that put national competitors to shame. Each bite delivered a satisfying snap followed by that distinctive peanut butter flavor that somehow tasted more authentic than fancier brands.
When production temporarily stopped in 2018, Pennsylvanians practically declared a state emergency. Thankfully, Boyer Candy in Altoona rescued this beloved treat. Finding a Clark Bar today feels like reuniting with an old friend – one that perfectly captures the hardworking, unpretentious spirit of Pennsylvania!
7. Goldenberg’s Peanut Chews: The Philly Phenomenon
My first Goldenberg’s experience happened during a school trip to Philadelphia’s Reading Terminal Market. One bite of these molasses-wrapped peanut clusters, and I understood why eastern Pennsylvanians defended them with such passion!
Unlike most modern candies, Peanut Chews weren’t overly sweet. The dark chocolate coating provided just enough bitterness to balance the chewy molasses and crunchy peanuts hidden inside. The small, bite-sized pieces made them perfect for sharing, though nobody ever wanted to.
When Just Born acquired them in 2003 and briefly removed the Goldenberg’s name, Philadelphians nearly staged a revolt. The company quickly restored the original branding, recognizing the deep connection between this candy and its Pennsylvania roots. Finding the classic black and white package still brings immediate comfort to those of us who grew up savoring these unique treats!
8. Mallo Cup: The Marshmallow Marvel
Saturday afternoons at my grandmother’s house in Altoona always included Mallo Cups. Boyer Candy Company’s masterpiece combined two perfect elements: coconut-flecked milk chocolate cups filled with fluffy marshmallow cream. Pure magic!
The best part wasn’t even the candy itself – it was the play money cards tucked inside each package. We’d save those little cardboard coins for months, eventually mailing them back to Boyer for free candy. What other treat taught Pennsylvania kids about saving while satisfying their sweet tooth?
The marshmallow center had a unique consistency – not quite solid, not quite liquid – that created the perfect mouthfeel when combined with the chocolate cup. While bigger brands got more attention, this Pennsylvania-made treasure remained our delicious secret. Finding them today instantly transports me back to those simple childhood afternoons in coal country!
9. Teaberry Gum: The Pink Pennsylvania Palate Cleanser
Nothing says “Pennsylvania road trip” like the distinctive wintergreen zing of Teaberry gum! My family kept packs in the glove compartment for journeys through the Poconos, and that first chew always signaled adventure ahead.
The bright pink color matched its bold, unique flavor – somewhere between mint and berries with a medicinal kick that somehow worked perfectly. While other states had standard mint gums, we had this distinctive Pennsylvania specialty that confused out-of-state visitors but delighted locals.
The flavor lasted longer than most gums too, maintaining its potency through miles of mountain roads and small-town explorations. Though harder to find nowadays, spotting a pack in a rural gas station still feels like discovering hidden treasure. One chew immediately brings back memories of summer drives, roadside attractions, and that unmistakable Pennsylvania pride in our quirky regional favorites!
10. Valomilk Cups: The Gloriously Messy Marvel
“Don’t tilt it!” That warning always accompanied the gifting of a Valomilk cup in my household. These chocolate cups filled with vanilla marshmallow cream weren’t just candy – they were an experience requiring strategic eating techniques!
Unlike solid candies, Valomilks contained flowing, liquid marshmallow that gushed out with the first bite. The messy glory of trying to contain the sweet white cream while enjoying the chocolate cup created both delicious memories and ruined shirts. Pennsylvania winters were perfect for Valomilks – the cold weather would slightly thicken the filling, making them marginally less catastrophic to eat.
Finding these treasures became increasingly difficult over the years, making each discovery more precious. The simple combination of quality chocolate and flowing vanilla cream represented candy perfection that modern, mass-produced treats could never match. Messy? Absolutely. Worth it? Every single time!