6 California Milkshakes That Feel Like A Meal By Themselves
California knows how to transform the humble milkshake into a full-blown meal experience.
I’ve traveled up and down the Golden State hunting for those legendary shakes that leave you unbuttoning your pants and questioning your life choices.
From beachside classics to diner treasures, these monster milkshakes aren’t just desserts – they’re adventures that require both a spoon and a straw, possibly a nap afterward, and definitely no plans for dinner.
1. Hodad’s Bacon Shake Phenomenon
My first encounter with Hodad’s bacon shake in Ocean Beach nearly made me weep with joy. The bartender-turned-shake-artist didn’t just blend ice cream with bacon bits – he created a symphony of sweet and savory that danced across my taste buds like a California surfer catching the perfect wave.
The thickness alone requires serious jaw strength. I watched a toddler at the next table try to suck this concrete-thick concoction through a straw, his face turning progressively redder until his mom laughingly handed him a spoon.
Pro tip: pair it with their smaller burger unless you’re training for an eating competition. The combination of their hand-spun vanilla base with house-candied bacon pieces creates a portable breakfast-dessert hybrid that haunts my dreams in the best possible way.
2. Saturn Café’s Otherworldly Vegan Chocolate Shake
Vegans rejoice! Saturn Café in Berkeley serves a chocolate shake so creamy you’d swear they’re hiding dairy somewhere in their cosmic kitchen. During my college years, I practically lived at this retro-space themed joint, justifying my frequent visits as “research” for a non-existent food blog.
Their signature chocolate shake comes topped with coconut whip that stands tall like a meringue mountain. The plant-based ice cream base somehow achieves that perfect melt-rate that lets you enjoy the shake without it turning into soup before you’re halfway done.
What truly makes this shake meal-worthy is its surprisingly filling nature – something about their secret blend keeps you satisfied for hours. I once made the rookie mistake of ordering it with their asteroid-sized nachos and couldn’t finish either one.
3. Fosselman’s Seasonal Horchata Creation
Hidden in an unassuming corner of Los Angeles, Fosselman’s has been crafting ice cream magic since 1919, but their seasonal horchata shake deserves its own Hollywood star. The first time I tasted it was during a heatwave that had turned my car into a mobile sauna.
This isn’t your typical cinnamon-rice drink blended with vanilla ice cream. Fosselman’s creates a proper horchata ice cream base, resulting in a shake with authentic depth that puts imitators to shame. The cinnamon notes hit just right – present but not overwhelming – while the creamy texture feels like velvet sliding down your throat.
What makes this shake substantial enough to replace lunch is its surprisingly filling rice base. My stomach was happily satisfied for hours after, making it the perfect midday meal replacement during those scorching SoCal summer days.
4. Lala’s Creamery PB&J Shake Masterpiece
Childhood nostalgia gets an adult upgrade at Lala’s Creamery in Petaluma. Their PB&J shake transformed me into a giggling 8-year-old within seconds of the first sip, despite my very grown-up credit card paying for this indulgence.
The genius lies in their technique: house-made strawberry jam swirled throughout peanut butter ice cream, with additional dollops of both folded in rather than fully blended. This creates pockets of intense flavor that surprise you throughout the drinking experience. The rim comes coated with crushed peanuts and a drizzle of more jam.
At around 1,200 calories (my rough estimate, as I desperately avoid asking for nutritional information), this shake stands firmly in meal territory. I made the tactical error of ordering it before wine tasting and had to reschedule my vineyard tour for the following day.
5. Velvet Grill’s Banana Cream Pie Shake Extravaganza
Somewhere between a milkshake and an architectural achievement sits Velvet Grill & Creamery’s banana cream pie shake in Lodi. The waitress who brought it to my table actually wished me good luck, which should have been my first clue about what was coming.
This monster begins with a traditional hand-spun banana shake base, but then takes a sharp turn into dessert territory. Entire slices of their house-made banana cream pie are blended in, with another slice balanced precariously on top as a garnish. Graham cracker crumbs coat the rim, and fresh banana slices line the inside of the glass.
The resulting creation is thick enough to stand your straw straight up – a party trick the locals seem to enjoy. I couldn’t finish mine despite valiant efforts, and the to-go cup they provided became breakfast for the next two days.
6. Crystal Cove’s Beachside Date Shake Delight
The historic Crystal Cove Shake Shack in Laguna Beach serves a date shake that’s worth every minute spent hunting for parking along PCH. My first visit happened during a coastal road trip when I spotted the line of people stretching into the parking lot – always a good sign.
Made with local Medjool dates that get soaked and blended into their vanilla base, this shake achieves a caramel-like sweetness without being cloying. The natural sugar rush from the dates hits differently than processed sugar, giving you sustained energy rather than a crash. Small chunks of date remain throughout, providing delightful texture variations.
What truly makes this shake memorable is enjoying it on their weathered deck overlooking the Pacific. Something about the salt air mixing with the sweet date flavor creates a distinctly Californian experience that feels nourishing for both body and soul.