6 Chocolate Ice Cream Brands We’ll Never Buy Again And 6 We’re Absolutely Obsessed With
I’ve always been a chocolate ice cream fanatic, keeping at least two different brands in my freezer at all times.
After hosting a massive taste test with my friends last summer, we discovered there’s a shocking quality gap between the best and worst chocolate ice creams on the market.
Some left us scraping the container for more, while others had us rushing to brush our teeth. Here’s my brutally honest review of the chocolate ice creams you should avoid and the ones worth every calorie.
1. Rebel (Sugar-Free/Dairy-Free): Chemical Nightmare
My first spoonful of Rebel chocolate ice cream nearly made me spit it out. The weird chemical aftertaste clung to my tongue like an unwelcome guest who refuses to leave.
The chalky texture reminded me of eating frozen cocoa powder mixed with artificial sweeteners. One of my friends actually checked the container to see if it had expired!
“Why?!” was all my sister could say after her reluctant taste test. Despite its keto-friendly appeal, this powdery imposter fails spectacularly at the one job ice cream has – being delicious.
2. So Delicious (Dairy-Free): Flavor Disappointment
My vegan roommate begged me to include So Delicious in our chocolate ice cream showdown. The name set our expectations sky-high, which made the letdown even more crushing.
The coconut-based chocolate lacked any meaningful depth of flavor. Its watery consistency melted into a puddle faster than a snowman in July, leaving behind only a faint hint of cocoa.
We collectively scored it 2/5, and even my dairy-intolerant friend admitted she’d rather take a lactase pill with real ice cream than suffer through this bland alternative again. False advertising at its finest!
3. Breyers: Cocoa-Flavored Snowbank
Remember making chocolate milk as a kid and using too much water? That’s Breyers chocolate ice cream in a nutshell. I grabbed it during a grocery sale, thinking I’d scored a bargain.
The first red flag was how easily the scoop glided through – not because it was soft, but because it’s packed with ice crystals. Actual chocolate flavor exists, but it’s diluted by what feels like excessive water content.
My nephew perfectly described it as a “cocoa-flavored snowbank.” When the 8-year-old chocolate expert in your family passes on seconds, you know something’s seriously wrong.
4. Friendly’s Classic Chocolate: Blandness in a Carton
Friendly’s restaurants hold a special place in my childhood memories, which made this disappointment cut even deeper. Their packaged Classic Chocolate tastes like they forgot the main ingredient – chocolate!
The mild, unexciting flavor profile seems designed to offend absolutely no one while simultaneously impressing absolutely no one. It’s the beige wall paint of the ice cream world.
We kept waiting for the chocolate flavor to develop, but it never arrived. This would work as a base for toppings or mix-ins, but as a standalone chocolate experience? Absolutely forgettable and uninspired.
5. Turkey Hill Dutch Chocolate: Artificial Aftertaste Festival
Turkey Hill Dutch Chocolate initially fooled us with its creamy texture and smooth mouthfeel. My dad even declared it “not bad” after the first bite.
Then came that lingering artificial aftertaste – like someone had dissolved a chocolate-scented air freshener into perfectly good ice cream. The flavor doesn’t taste natural or authentic.
My cousin who works at a bakery nailed it when she said it feels “engineered” rather than crafted. While it’s serviceable in a pinch, the weird chemical finish means this pint will likely get freezer burn before we’re desperate enough to finish it.
6. Whole Foods 365 Chocolate: Identity Crisis in a Pint
Whole Foods 365 Chocolate ice cream suffers from a serious identity crisis. The texture impressed us – dense and creamy with a luxurious mouthfeel that initially had us nodding in approval.
Then we waited for the chocolate flavor to arrive… and waited… and waited. It’s bizarrely light on actual cocoa taste, as if someone whispered the word “chocolate” near the mix during production.
My chocolate-obsessed aunt summed it up perfectly: “This is ice cream base pretending to be chocolate.” For a store known for quality ingredients, this half-hearted chocolate attempt feels like a massive missed opportunity.
7. Alden’s Organic Chocolate Chocolate Chip: Double Chocolate Delight
Discovering Alden’s Organic was like finding the holy grail of chocolate ice cream! The smooth, slightly bittersweet base delivers real cocoa flavor without being overpowering.
Those little flecks of chocolate throughout aren’t just for show – they provide these amazing bursts of intense chocolate that complement the base perfectly. My chocolate-hating husband (I know, I married a monster) even went back for seconds!
The organic ingredients create a cleaner flavor profile without any weird aftertaste. After trying it at a friend’s dinner party, I immediately drove to the store and bought two pints – one for now and one for my secret emergency stash.
8. Jeni’s Darkest Chocolate: Intensity in Every Bite
Jeni’s Darkest Chocolate isn’t playing around – it’s serious chocolate business. Opening the lid releases an aroma like walking into a high-end chocolate shop.
The intensity reminds me of a perfect chocolate truffle, transformed into creamy ice cream form. What impresses me most is how they’ve balanced that richness with just enough sweetness – it’s dark chocolate perfection without being bitter.
Yes, it’s pricey, but after one spoonful, I understood why my chef friend keeps it hidden in the back of her freezer away from her family. The dense, almost pudding-like consistency means a small serving satisfies even my most intense chocolate cravings.
9. Häagen-Dazs Chocolate: Classic Perfection
Häagen-Dazs Chocolate has been my gold standard since college when I’d splurge on a pint after finals. Twenty years later, it still delivers that same perfect experience.
The minimal ingredient list (cream, milk, sugar, cocoa, eggs) proves that simplicity, when done right, creates magic. The texture remains unmatched – so rich and creamy it coats your spoon like velvet.
Last Christmas, my picky brother-in-law and I finally found common ground over our mutual appreciation for this classic. While fancy artisanal brands come and go, Häagen-Dazs remains consistently excellent and available at almost any grocery store – reliability that deserves respect.
10. Trader Joe’s Ultra Chocolate: Budget-Friendly Luxury
Trader Joe’s Ultra Chocolate ice cream delivers a flavor experience that defies its modest price tag. The first spoonful had me checking the price on the receipt – how could something this good cost so little?
The deep, luscious cocoa flavor reminds me of expensive European drinking chocolate I had on vacation. Its exceptional creaminess creates a mouthfeel that rivals brands costing twice as much.
My neighbor, who claims to be a chocolate snob, refused to believe this was store-brand until I showed her the container. We’ve since established a carpool system to our nearest Trader Joe’s specifically for ice cream runs – the ultimate testament to its worthiness.
11. Edy’s/Dreyer’s Chocolate: Reliable Everyday Champion
Not every chocolate craving requires a gourmet experience, and that’s where Edy’s (or Dreyer’s, depending on which coast you’re on) comes to the rescue. It’s been my reliable weeknight treat for years.
The smooth texture never disappoints, and the moderately rich chocolate flavor satisfies without being overwhelming. My kids call it the “just right” ice cream – not too intense for their young palates but still recognizably chocolatey.
The budget-friendly price means I don’t wince when the whole family descends on a fresh container. For everyday ice cream enjoyment that won’t break the bank or disappoint your taste buds, this consistently good option deserves a permanent spot in your freezer.
12. Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie: Chunky Chocolate Heaven
Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream transformed my last breakup from tragic to bearable. The combination of rich chocolate base with those chewy brownie chunks creates an emotional support system in dessert form.
Each spoonful offers a treasure hunt experience – will you get a massive brownie piece or just the creamy chocolate base? Either way, you win! The brownies somehow maintain their chewy texture even when frozen, which seems like food science magic.
Yes, it’s definitely on the sweeter side, but sometimes that’s exactly what you need. My best friend and I have an unspoken rule: when either of us texts “B&J emergency,” we know exactly which pint to bring over.