5 Frozen Pizzas To Avoid And 5 You’ll Want Again
Frozen pizza has saved many a dinner crisis in my household.
After years of late-night freezer raids and hungry weekend emergencies, I’ve become something of an accidental frozen pizza connoisseur.
Not all frozen pizzas are created equal though – some leave you with regret and disappointment while others surprisingly rival your local pizzeria.
I’ve eaten my way through countless cardboard boxes to bring you this honest guide to frozen pizza paradise (and pitfalls).
1. AVOID: Tony’s Original Crust Frozen Pizza
My college roommate once bought these in bulk during finals week. Big mistake! Tony’s Original Crust pizza offers a truly disappointing experience from the first bite to the last. The crust resembles soggy cardboard more than anything remotely bread-like, becoming either rock-hard or weirdly floppy depending on how you cook it.
The sauce tastes oddly sweet with an artificial tomato flavor that lingers unpleasantly. As for cheese? There’s barely any, and what’s there congeals into a plastic-like substance rather than melting properly.
Despite its budget-friendly price tag, this pizza fails to deliver even basic satisfaction. No amount of additional toppings can rescue this sad excuse for pizza. Save your money and stomach space for literally anything else.
2. AVOID: Celeste Pizza For One
Remember those tiny pizzas that fit in a toaster oven? Celeste Pizza For One haunts my middle school memories. These personal-sized disappointments feature a crust that somehow manages to be both cracker-thin and doughy at the same time – a truly perplexing texture achievement.
The sauce tastes like someone whispered the word “tomato” over ketchup, and the cheese has a strange way of separating into oil puddles upon heating. Fun fact: I once left one in my car during summer, and the smell lingered for weeks!
While the nostalgia factor might tempt you, trust me – your taste buds deserve better. The convenience factor doesn’t outweigh the mediocre quality and unsatisfying portion size that will leave you rummaging through your pantry afterward.
3. AVOID: Great Value Rising Crust Pepperoni Pizza
Walmart’s Great Value pizza had me fooled with its promising appearance in the freezer aisle. The rising crust concept sounds impressive until you realize it rises into a bread-like sponge that absorbs grease like nobody’s business. After baking, the pepperoni slices curl into tiny grease cups that pool with oil.
The cheese layer applies the “less is more” philosophy way too seriously. You’ll find yourself hunting for cheese that seems to vanish during cooking. The sauce has an oddly metallic aftertaste that no amount of ranch dressing can mask.
I’ve tried doctoring it up with extra toppings and seasonings, but nothing helps. For just a couple dollars more, you could upgrade to something actually edible instead of this sad grocery store imposter.
4. AVOID: Amy’s Cheese Pizza
Amy’s products usually impress me, but their cheese pizza breaks my heart every time. The premium price tag creates expectations this pizza simply can’t fulfill. The crust emerges from the oven with an almost stale texture – not quite crispy, not quite chewy, just oddly tough.
The cheese blend lacks character despite the organic ingredients touted on the box. I’ve nicknamed it the “health food pizza that forgot to be delicious.” My vegetarian sister swears by it, but I suspect she’s forgotten what good pizza tastes like.
While I appreciate Amy’s commitment to organic ingredients and vegetarian options, this particular offering falls flat. The bland sauce and minimal seasoning create an experience that feels more like a punishment than a treat. Good intentions don’t automatically make good pizza.
5. AVOID: Tombstone Original Pepperoni
Tombstone pizza lives up to its morbid name – it’s where good pizza experiences go to die. The ultra-thin crust somehow manages to be both soggy in the middle and burnt at the edges, regardless of how carefully you follow the cooking instructions. My pizza stone couldn’t even save this disaster.
The pepperoni resembles small rubber discs with suspicious red coloring that barely changes during baking. The cheese coverage appears generous until it melts into oily patches that slide right off when you take a bite, leaving bare spots of sauce.
Speaking of sauce – it has that distinctive mass-produced tang that screams “artificial.” Last winter during a snowstorm, I chose to make sandwiches rather than eat the Tombstone lurking in my freezer. That’s how uninspiring this pizza is.
6. BUY AGAIN: DiGiorno Stuffed Crust Pizza
DiGiorno’s stuffed crust creation changed my frozen pizza standards forever! The first time I pulled one from my oven, the cheese-filled crust actually stretched in those satisfying, commercial-worthy pulls. My friends couldn’t believe it wasn’t delivery (sorry, had to say it).
The sauce strikes that perfect balance between tangy and sweet without any artificial aftertaste. Unlike many frozen options, the cheese melts evenly with real browning on top – not just that weird sweaty look many frozen pizzas develop.
The crust deserves special praise – crispy exterior with a soft, chewy interior, plus that glorious ring of mozzarella tucked inside the edge. This pizza regularly makes appearances at my movie nights, and the empty box is always the proof of its popularity. Worth every penny of its slightly higher price.
7. BUY AGAIN: Screamin’ Sicilian Holy Pepperoni
Holy moly, this pizza lives up to its dramatic name! Screamin’ Sicilian’s Holy Pepperoni doesn’t mess around – they pile on thick-cut, cup-and-char pepperoni that actually crisps up like you’d get at an artisanal pizza joint. My brother-in-law (a self-proclaimed pizza snob) grudgingly admitted this frozen option “wasn’t terrible” – his highest praise for anything not made in Brooklyn.
The sauce contains visible herbs and has a genuine tomato flavor rather than that processed sweetness. Their cheese blend achieves the impossible: it actually tastes like real dairy and covers the pizza edge-to-edge with no sad bare spots.
The crust develops a beautiful brown exterior while maintaining a satisfying chew. Yes, it’s pricier than most frozen options, but this is the pizza you serve when you want to impress without admitting it came from your freezer.
8. BUY AGAIN: Trader Joe’s Wood Fired Naples Style Uncured Pepperoni Pizza
Trader Joe’s wood-fired pizza delivers that elusive authentic Italian pizzeria experience from your own oven! The ultra-thin crust develops those beautiful charred bubbles that pizza enthusiasts chase after. I’ve served this at dinner parties and received genuine compliments before revealing its frozen origins.
The uncured pepperoni contains no nitrates or artificial ingredients, resulting in a cleaner, more natural flavor. It actually tastes like meat rather than processed mystery discs! The cheese achieves that perfect balance between melty and browned, with little pockets of bubbly goodness.
The sauce deserves special mention – it’s bright, fresh-tasting, and applied with restraint in true Neapolitan style. This pizza respects the less-is-more philosophy with quality ingredients allowed to shine. At under $5, it’s an absolute steal compared to similar quality from a restaurant.
9. BUY AGAIN: California Pizza Kitchen Crispy Thin Crust BBQ Chicken
Unconventional pizza lovers, rejoice! CPK’s BBQ chicken frozen pizza successfully translates their restaurant favorite to your home oven. The first time I tried this, I was skeptical about frozen barbecue chicken – but the sweet-smoky sauce and actual pieces of white meat chicken won me over immediately.
The mix of gouda and mozzarella cheeses creates a complex flavor profile you rarely find in the freezer aisle. Red onions maintain their slight crunch, and the cilantro somehow doesn’t completely disappear during baking. The thin crust crisps up perfectly without becoming brittle.
This pizza has rescued countless weeknight dinners when I’m craving something different from traditional pepperoni. While it won’t replace a freshly-made specialty pizza, it certainly satisfies the craving for something beyond basic frozen fare. My picky nephew even requests it specifically when he visits!
10. BUY AGAIN: Newman’s Own Thin & Crispy Uncured Pepperoni
Paul Newman’s legacy lives on in this surprisingly excellent frozen pizza! The thin crust achieves that perfect cracker-like crispness while still maintaining enough structure to hold the toppings. During a power outage last winter, I actually cooked one on my grill, and it turned out even better than in the oven!
The uncured pepperoni contains no artificial preservatives and crisps up beautifully, developing those coveted crispy edges. The sauce balances acidity and sweetness perfectly without relying on added sugar like many competitors. Plus, knowing the profits go to charity makes indulging feel a bit more virtuous.
The cheese deserves special mention for its authentic dairy flavor and perfect melt – none of that oily separation or plastic texture. This pizza has become my reliable go-to when I need something quick but don’t want to compromise on quality. It’s simply good, honest pizza.