6 Minnesota Sandwiches That Let You Down And 6 Worth The Craving

As a Minnesota foodie who’s eaten my way through countless diners, delis, and drive-thrus, I’ve had my share of sandwich triumphs and tragedies.

Nothing’s worse than spending your hard-earned cash on a disappointing stack of bread and fillings. But when a sandwich hits just right? Pure magic.

I’ve compiled this honest guide to help you navigate the best and worst of Minnesota’s sandwich scene.

1. McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish: The Soggy Disappointment

I remember my excitement ordering this fishy classic during a road trip across Minnesota. Big mistake! The tiny, soft fillet barely filled half the bun and lacked any semblance of crunch.

The texture resembles a sponge that’s been left in dishwater overnight – mushy and one-dimensional. Even the tartar sauce can’t rescue this underwater disaster.

What’s most frustrating is how this sandwich has remained virtually unchanged since the 1960s. With one sad pickle and a slice of processed cheese that never fully melts, it’s the definition of phoning it in.

2. Capriotti’s: All Hype, No Flavor

Folks raved about this chain when it arrived in Minnesota, so I rushed over with sandwich dreams dancing in my head. Talk about a letdown! My supposedly ‘signature’ sub arrived with such skimpy fillings I could count the meat slices through the bread.

The vegetables seemed like an afterthought – wilted lettuce and pale tomatoes that had lost their will to live. One Yelper nailed it by calling it “the saddest little sandwich” for the price.

At nearly $12 for a regular sub, I expected flavor that would make my taste buds dance. Instead, they fell asleep halfway through this bland, overpriced disappointment.

3. Milio’s Sandwiches: The Inconsistency King

Last summer, I stopped at three different Milio’s locations across the Twin Cities in one week. The inconsistency was mind-boggling! My first sandwich was decent, the second barely had any turkey, and the third had so much mayo I needed extra napkins.

The bread often arrives either too soft or oddly stale, never hitting that perfect middle ground. When you’re paying premium prices, you expect premium quality – not a sandwich roulette.

Multiple reviewers echo my frustration with comments like “hardly anything on it” yet somehow still commanding a $9+ price tag. I’ve learned my lesson about Milio’s unpredictable sandwich lottery.

4. Generic Porketta Sandwich: Iron Range Imposter

During a cabin weekend up north, I couldn’t wait to try a local porketta sandwich from a small roadside stand. The menu described it as “authentic Iron Range style” – but authenticity was nowhere to be found!

The meat was dry as sawdust, with seasoning so unbalanced it tasted like someone had accidentally dropped the entire fennel jar into the mix. Each bite was more disappointing than the last, leaving me with spice-burned taste buds and a serious case of food regret.

Many homemade attempts fall similarly flat, missing the tender, juicy qualities that make a true porketta special. Save yourself the heartache and seek out the real deal.

5. New School Banh Mi: Missing the Point

I’ve watched in horror as certain Minnesota chains have butchered the beautiful banh mi concept. One place (which shall remain nameless) served me what they called a “gourmet banh mi” that was essentially a regular sandwich with a few sad cilantro leaves.

These overstuffed but under-flavored creations miss everything that makes banh mi special – the perfect balance of crisp pickled vegetables, fresh herbs, and complementary proteins. Instead, they pile on excessive ingredients while forgetting the soul of the sandwich.

The worst offenders skip the crucial pickled daikon and carrot completely! Without that signature tang and crunch, you’re just eating an expensive sandwich with an identity crisis.

6. Fast-Food Fish Subs: The Bottom Feeders

Minnesota winters sometimes leave me craving comfort food from the drive-thru. Big mistake trying the fish sandwiches at certain burger chains competing with the golden arches!

The batter arrives either soggy or burnt – never crispy – while the fish itself has that questionable texture that makes you wonder how long it’s been frozen. The worst part? The limp, sad toppings that seem like they were assembled by someone who’s never actually seen a sandwich before.

These consistently rank at the bottom of fast food taste tests for good reason. Even drowning them in tartar sauce can’t mask the fishy mediocrity that leaves you with both an empty wallet and disappointed taste buds.

7. Be’Wiched: Sandwich Artistry at Its Finest

Walking into Be’Wiched in Minneapolis changed my sandwich standards forever. Their tuna confit sandwich isn’t just food – it’s a religious experience! The tuna is perfectly seasoned, complemented by crisp vegetables that provide the ideal textural contrast.

My personal favorite is their smoked turkey with bacon and goat cheese. The smokiness hits first, followed by creamy tanginess that makes your taste buds do a happy dance. Each ingredient feels purposeful, not just piled on.

Thrillist named them a top sandwich spot for good reason. The bread (baked in-house) manages to be both sturdy and tender – the perfect vehicle for their thoughtfully crafted fillings that keep me coming back monthly.

8. Trung Nam Banh Mi: Crispy Perfection Under $8

I’ll never forget my first bite at Trung Nam in St. Paul. The crackle of that house-baked baguette echoed in my ears before giving way to the most perfectly balanced filling I’ve ever experienced.

For under $8, you get a masterpiece of textures and flavors – crisp bread, velvety pâté, fresh cilantro, and caramelized pork that melts in your mouth. Nothing is competing; everything is complementing.

The family running this place has perfected their craft over generations. I’ve brought sandwich snobs from New York and Chicago here, and they all leave converted to the Trung Nam cult. It’s not just a good sandwich – it’s a cultural treasure that proves perfection doesn’t require a hefty price tag.

9. Marty’s Deli “Raffi Luigi”: The Sandwich of My Dreams

I stumbled upon Marty’s Deli during a rainstorm last spring, and that unexpected shelter turned into a life-changing meal. Their “Raffi Luigi” combines salami and prosciutto with a fennel slaw that cuts through the richness perfectly.

The mustard-aioli adds just enough tang without overwhelming the delicate balance of flavors. Every component feels deliberately chosen and expertly proportioned – no sad, droopy edges or structural failures here!

What impresses me most is how the sandwich stays intact from first bite to last. The roll maintains its integrity while still being tender enough to not push fillings out the back – a true engineering marvel. This is the sandwich I now dream about on long workdays.

10. Cecil’s Deli: Time-Tested Jewish Deli Excellence

My grandmother introduced me to Cecil’s in St. Paul when I was just eight years old. Twenty years later, their corned beef on rye still tastes exactly the same – and that’s the highest compliment I can give.

The meat is sliced to that perfect thickness where it doesn’t fall apart but still melts in your mouth. Their rye bread has the ideal density and slight sourness that complements rather than competes with the fillings.

Operating since 1949, Cecil’s represents sandwich consistency at its finest. While trendy spots come and go, Cecil’s quietly continues serving authentic deli sandwiches that transport you to another era. Their pastrami deserves its own fan club – smoky, tender, and piled just right.

11. Authentic Iron Range Porketta: Bell’s Resort’s Crown Jewel

After that disappointing porketta experience I mentioned earlier, a Minnesota native friend insisted on driving me two hours north to Bell’s Resort. “This,” she promised, “is the real deal.” She wasn’t exaggerating!

Their porketta sandwich arrives with tender, juicy pork that’s been slow-roasted to perfection. The meat practically falls apart, infused with a perfect balance of garlic and fennel that doesn’t overwhelm but certainly announces itself.

Served on a simple roll that knows its role is supporting, not starring, this sandwich represents everything special about Iron Range culinary traditions. Each bite offers a perfect harmony of flavors that makes the long drive absolutely worth it. This is Minnesota food heritage at its finest.

12. Bell’s Resort Pork Tenderloin: Midwest Comfort Perfected

During that same northern Minnesota pilgrimage, I couldn’t leave Bell’s Resort without trying their legendary pork tenderloin sandwich. The massive, crispy pork cutlet extending well beyond the bun borders made me laugh out loud when it arrived.

The exterior crunch gives way to juicy, tender meat that’s been pounded thin but somehow remains perfectly moist. Simple toppings – just lettuce, tomato, onion and mayo – know not to interfere with the star of the show.

A proper Midwest tenderloin sandwich is harder to find than you’d think, but Bell’s execution is flawless. One bite explains why locals drive from hours away for this crave-worthy creation that many have described as “OMG-worthy.” I can only agree – this sandwich deserves every bit of its legendary status.