6 New York Cheeseburgers That Disappoint & 6 That Locals Line Up For
New York City’s burger scene is a wild rollercoaster of highs and lows.
I’ve spent years chomping my way through the Big Apple’s most famous patties, discovering which ones are worth the hype and which leave you wondering why you bothered.
From tourist traps serving hockey pucks on buns to hidden gems with lines around the block, this city’s burger landscape has it all.
Let me save you some serious disappointment (and steer you toward some life-changing bites).
1. The Applebee’s Letdown
Last summer, I dragged my burger-loving buddy to Applebee’s Times Square location, promising “at least a decent meal.” Boy, was my face red afterward! The Applebee’s Cheeseburger looks impressive in those glossy menu photos but arrives as a sad, overcooked hockey puck.
The patty lacks any beefy flavor, often cooked well beyond the requested temperature. The cheese barely melts, sitting atop the meat like an afterthought. Even the bun feels mass-produced and stale.
What really kills me is the price tag – nearly $18 with fries in some locations! Save your hard-earned cash and burger appetite for literally anywhere else in the city. Trust me, even the street cart vendors do better than this chain restaurant disappointment.
2. McDonald’s Quarter Pounder: The Tourist Trap
“But it’s just like home!” That’s what I hear tourists say as they flock to the Times Square McDonald’s. While I get the comfort of familiarity, you’re in NEW YORK CITY, people! The Quarter Pounder with Cheese here is exactly the same as in your hometown – only twice the price and half the satisfaction.
Fast food has its place, but not when you’re visiting the burger capital of the world. The patty is thin, the cheese is processed beyond recognition, and the whole thing gets cold before you even find a place to sit in the crowded restaurant.
My Australian cousin once chose this over a local burger joint, and I nearly disowned him on the spot! Skip the golden arches and find something that’ll actually give you a true New York experience.
3. TGI Friday’s Whiskey-Glazed Flop
My birthday dinner last year turned into a comedy of errors when my out-of-town relatives insisted on TGI Friday’s. Their Signature Whiskey-Glazed Burger sounds fancy but delivers a sugar bomb that would make even a candy store blush. The patty drowns under a flood of sticky-sweet sauce that completely obliterates any beef flavor.
The onion rings on top become soggy within minutes, creating a structural nightmare that collapses faster than my hopes for a decent meal. Even the bacon – usually a burger’s saving grace – tastes like it was cooked yesterday and reheated in a microwave.
For around $20, you’re essentially paying for a sugar high and disappointment. New York has too many amazing burger options to waste your time on this chain restaurant catastrophe!
4. Burger King’s Whopper: Royal Disappointment
The crown-wearing mascot should be hanging his head in shame! My emergency lunch at the Burger King near Penn Station left me wondering if “flame-grilled” actually means “steam-heated for hours under a heat lamp.” The Whopper promises royalty but delivers peasant fare.
Limp lettuce, mealy tomatoes, and a patty so thin you could read the newspaper through it – this burger is the definition of mediocrity. The mayo-heavy sauce distribution means one bite is dry while the next is a slippery mess.
What really grinds my gears? They have the nerve to call this thing “famous” on the menu! Famous for what – being available everywhere? When you’re in the city with some of the world’s best burgers, wasting your appetite on this chain offering is nothing short of a culinary crime.
5. Chili’s Oldtimer: New York’s Biggest Burger Mistake
My cousin from Idaho begged to eat at Chili’s during his NYC visit. I still haven’t forgiven him. The Oldtimer with Cheese should be renamed “The Disappointment with Cheese.” The patty has all the flavor complexity of cardboard, with a texture suggesting it’s been frozen since the restaurant chain was founded.
The cheese (allegedly American) refuses to melt properly, creating a strange, plastic-like layer between beef and bun. Even the pickles – usually a saving grace – taste like they’ve been soaking in chemicals rather than brine.
My personal pet peeve? They ask how you want it cooked, but regardless of your answer, it arrives well-done and dry as the Sahara. In a city where burger greatness awaits on practically every corner, subjecting yourself to this suburban chain mediocrity is just plain silly!
6. Hard Rock Cafe’s Legendary Burger: Infamously Awful
Rock memorabilia? Cool! Burgers? Not so much. I made the rookie mistake of taking my nephew to Hard Rock Times Square last spring. Their so-called “Legendary Burger” is famous for all the wrong reasons – mainly its ability to charge $25 for something that tastes like it cost $2 to make.
The patty has that distinct frozen-then-overcooked quality that no amount of special sauce can disguise. Speaking of sauce, they drown the poor thing in it, perhaps hoping you won’t notice the beef’s lack of flavor. The cheese congeals rather than melts, creating an odd texture that haunts me to this day.
What really salts my fries is watching tourists happily snap photos of this mediocre burger while incredible New York classics are just blocks away! Save your money for a guitar keychain instead – at least that won’t leave a bad taste in your mouth.
7. Shake Shack ShackBurger: Fast Food Royalty
My first ShackBurger experience had me doing a happy dance right there in Madison Square Park! This smashed burger masterpiece proves fast food can be transcendent when done right. The patty has those magical crispy edges that only come from proper smashing on a hot griddle, while somehow staying juicy inside.
The ShackSauce adds tangy zip without drowning out the high-quality beef flavor. Even the potato bun deserves praise – soft yet sturdy enough to hold everything together until the last delicious bite. I’ve actually canceled dinner reservations just to grab one of these beauties!
Pro tip from a local: download the Shake Shack app to order ahead and skip the infamous lines. While tourists wait 45 minutes at the original location, I’m smugly grabbing my pre-ordered burger and finding a park bench for prime people-watching with my perfect handheld meal.
8. J.G. Melon’s Cheeseburger: The Upper East Side Classic
Cash only, no reservations, and worth every minute of the wait! J.G. Melon’s cheeseburger has been my birthday dinner choice for seven years running. This Upper East Side institution serves a burger so perfect in its simplicity that it borders on spiritual experience.
The thick, hand-formed patty comes perfectly medium-rare (unless specified otherwise), with a crust that can only come from decades of seasoned griddle magic. American cheese melts into all the nooks and crannies, while the toasted bun provides the ideal meat-to-bread ratio.
My favorite part? The cottage fries that accompany it – crispy medallions of potato heaven that I’ve tried (and failed) to replicate at home countless times. Even celebrities wait patiently for a table here, because some things in life – like this burger – are worth the wait no matter who you are.
9. Emily’s Emmy Burger: Brooklyn’s Crown Jewel
The first time I bit into Emily’s Emmy Burger, I actually closed my eyes and sighed loud enough for neighboring tables to stare. Worth the embarrassment! This Clinton Hill sensation combines dry-aged beef with Grafton cheddar, caramelized onions, and their secret Emmy sauce on a pretzel bun that should be illegal it’s so good.
Unlike most fancy burgers that fall apart after two bites, this architectural marvel somehow maintains its integrity down to the last morsel. The pretzel bun provides the perfect chewy contrast to the juicy meat, while the sauce adds a tangy-sweet element that ties everything together.
Fair warning: they only make a limited number each night, and they WILL sell out. I once saw a grown man nearly cry when told they were gone for the evening. Plan accordingly or prepare for potential burger heartbreak – though their pizza makes for an excellent consolation prize!
10. Peter Luger Luger-Burger: Lunchtime’s Best-Kept Secret
“You went to Peter Luger for a BURGER?” Yes, and it might be the smartest dining decision I’ve ever made! While tourists fight for dinner reservations to try their famous porterhouse, savvy locals know lunchtime is when the real magic happens. The Luger-Burger is what happens when a legendary steakhouse decides to grind their prime dry-aged beef.
This half-pound behemoth comes on a sesame bun with only raw onion as an optional topping. No fancy sauces or toppings needed – the meat speaks for itself with a mineral richness that makes you understand why cavemen discovered fire. Add the thick-cut bacon as a topping and prepare for flavor nirvana.
Cash only, no reservations for lunch, and absolutely worth planning your day around. I’ve actually scheduled business meetings nearby just to have an excuse to “happen to be in the neighborhood” for this burger!
11. Minetta Tavern’s Black Label Burger: The Luxury Splurge
My last promotion celebration called for something special, and Minetta Tavern’s Black Label Burger answered that call with gustatory fireworks! At $36, it’s the price of a cheap steak, but this is essentially a steakhouse-quality meal on a bun. The patty blends prime dry-aged ribeye, skirt steak, and brisket into beefy perfection.
Caramelized onions provide sweet contrast to the funky, mineral-rich meat, which tastes like it came from cows that lived better lives than most humans. The brioche bun somehow stands up to the juicy patty without getting soggy – a feat of burger engineering.
No cheese here – and you won’t miss it. Adding dairy to this masterpiece would be like putting ketchup on filet mignon. Reservations are tough, but the bar is first-come-first-served. I’ve happily waited an hour just to perch on a barstool for this bucket-list burger experience!
12. Corner Bistro’s Cheeseburger: The Affordable Legend
Hallelujah for places that haven’t changed since your parents’ college days! Corner Bistro’s cheeseburger is the antidote to pretentious $30 burgers taking over Manhattan. This West Village institution serves a hefty 8-ounce behemoth on paper plates for under $15, proving greatness doesn’t require fancy plating or imported ingredients.
The loosely-packed patty comes perfectly charred outside and juicy inside, topped with melted American cheese and crisp bacon if you order the deluxe (you should). The no-frills approach extends to the atmosphere – dark wood, beer in mugs, and bartenders who’ve seen it all.
My favorite Corner Bistro memory? Bringing my burger-snob cousin from California who scoffed at the plain surroundings – until his eyes rolled back in his head at first bite. Sometimes the classics remain classics for good reason. Cash only, and worth hitting the ATM for!