These Washington Dinner Table Rules From The 1960s Would Leave Today’s Kids Scratching Their Heads
Growing up in Washington during the 1960s meant following a strict code of conduct at the dinner table. Parents expected their children to sit up straight, speak only when spoken to, and master the art of polite conversation.
These rules shaped an entire generation, but they seem almost comical when compared to today’s relaxed family meals.
Let me take you back to a time when dinner etiquette was serious business and breaking protocol could earn you a one-way ticket to your room without dessert.
1. Elbows Off the Table at All Times
Parents in 1960s Washington treated this rule like it was written in stone. Resting your elbows on the table while eating was considered lazy and disrespectful to everyone sharing the meal.
Kids learned quickly that proper posture meant hands in your lap between bites and arms never sprawling across the dining surface.
My grandmother would give me the look if my elbow so much as grazed the tablecloth during the meal. She believed good posture reflected good character, and slouching was simply unacceptable.
Today’s kids might find this obsession with arm placement absolutely baffling, especially when they’re used to eating on the couch while scrolling through their phones.
2. Wait Until Everyone Is Served Before Eating
Nobody touched their fork until every single person had food on their plate. This rule taught patience and respect for the family unit, but it could feel like torture when hot mashed potatoes sat steaming right in front of you.
Washington families took this tradition seriously, viewing it as a sign of good breeding and consideration for others.
The wait could stretch on forever if someone was still in the kitchen preparing something. Kids would sit there, mouths watering, watching their food cool down.
Modern children who grab snacks whenever they want would probably think this delay was some kind of punishment rather than proper manners.
3. Always Ask to Be Excused
Leaving the table without permission was absolutely forbidden in Washington households during the sixties. Children had to formally request permission by saying a polite phrase like ‘May I please be excused?’ before standing up.
This rule reinforced the idea that mealtimes were structured events requiring proper beginnings and endings.
I remember sitting through endless adult conversations after finishing my meal, squirming in my chair but knowing better than to just bolt.
The request had to be made in a respectful tone, and sometimes parents would say no if they weren’t done talking yet.
Today’s kids would probably find it strange that they couldn’t just leave whenever they felt like it.
4. Napkin Goes on Your Lap Immediately
The moment you sat down, your napkin had to be unfolded and placed across your lap. Washington parents considered this one of the first signs of civilized behavior at the table.
Forgetting this step meant a gentle but firm reminder from whoever was watching, and repeat offenders might face consequences after the meal ended.
Both cloth and paper napkins were common by the 1960s, but the rule stayed the same: kids learned to dab their mouths delicately rather than wipe vigorously.
The napkin stayed put throughout the entire meal, and only when you were excused could you place it beside your plate. Such formality seems almost theatrical to modern families.
5. No Speaking With Your Mouth Full
This rule was drilled into every Washington kid’s head until it became second nature. Talking while chewing was considered disgusting and rude, no matter how exciting your story might be.
Parents would stop conversations mid-sentence to correct this behavior, making sure the lesson stuck for life.
I once made the mistake of answering my dad’s question while still chewing pot roast. The silence that followed was deafening, and I never made that error again.
You learned to time your responses carefully, taking smaller bites if you knew a conversation was expected.
Modern kids might struggle with this since multitasking has become so normal in today’s fast-paced world.
6. Use the Correct Utensil for Each Course
Washington dinner tables in the 1960s often featured multiple forks, knives, and spoons arranged in a specific order.
Children were expected to know which utensil to use for each part of the meal, working from the outside in. This knowledge separated the well-mannered from the uncouth, at least in the eyes of proper society.
Salad forks, dinner forks, soup spoons, and dessert spoons all had their designated purposes. Using the wrong one could result in embarrassment and a quiet correction from your parents.
Today’s kids who eat most meals with just one fork would find this level of silverware complexity completely unnecessary and confusing.
7. Sit Up Straight Throughout the Entire Meal
Slouching at the dinner table was simply not tolerated in Washington homes during this era. Parents believed that proper posture demonstrated respect, discipline, and good upbringing.
Kids had to maintain an upright position from the blessing to the final bite, no matter how tired or uncomfortable they felt.
My mother used to say that slouching made you look lazy and uninterested in family time. She would tap the table twice as a wordless reminder to straighten up whenever someone started sliding down in their chair. The constant attention to posture felt exhausting back then.
8. Never Reach Across the Table
Stretching your arm across the table to grab something was considered incredibly rude. Washington families taught their children to politely ask for items to be passed instead. This rule prevented spills, maintained order, and reinforced the importance of communication during meals.
Saying ‘Please pass the salt’ became as automatic as breathing for kids raised in the sixties. You learned quickly that grabbing things yourself disrupted the flow of the meal and showed poor manners.
Sometimes you had to wait while the salt shaker made its way around the entire table.
Today’s kids might find it odd that they couldn’t just grab what they needed when it was sitting right there within arm’s reach.
9. Compliment the Cook Before Leaving
Children were expected to thank whoever prepared the meal and offer a sincere compliment before being excused. This practice showed appreciation for the time and effort that went into cooking.
Washington parents saw this as essential training in gratitude and good manners that would serve their kids throughout life.
Even if you didn’t particularly enjoy the meal, you found something nice to say. Phrases like ‘Thank you for dinner, it was delicious’ became standard exit lines. I learned to appreciate the work behind every meal, even the ones featuring vegetables I disliked.
10. No Reading at the Table
Books, newspapers, and magazines were strictly forbidden during mealtimes in 1960s Washington households.
Dinner was designated family time meant for conversation and connection, not individual entertainment. Parents viewed reading at the table as antisocial behavior that defeated the entire purpose of gathering together.
Kids who tried to sneak a comic book to the table faced swift confiscation and possible consequences. The rule applied to everyone, including adults who might want to check the evening paper.
Meals were about being present with your family, making eye contact, and engaging in real discussions.
11. Chew With Your Mouth Closed
Open-mouthed chewing was considered one of the most offensive table behaviors imaginable.
Washington parents corrected this habit immediately and consistently until children mastered the art of eating quietly. The rule applied to every single bite, no matter how hungry or rushed you felt.
I remember my older brother getting sent from the table once for repeatedly chewing with his mouth open despite warnings.
The sound of someone smacking their food was deemed intolerable and disrespectful to everyone present. You learned to eat slowly and deliberately, keeping your lips together throughout the chewing process.
Modern kids might not even realize this is something people pay attention to, given how casual dining has become in many households today.
12. Wait for the Blessing Before Touching Food
Many Washington families in the 1960s said grace before meals, and children had to sit quietly with hands folded until the prayer finished.
This moment of gratitude and reflection was non-negotiable, regardless of how hungry everyone felt. Reaching for food during the blessing was considered deeply disrespectful and would result in serious reprimands.
The blessing could be brief or lengthy, depending on the family’s traditions. Kids learned to bow their heads, close their eyes, and remain perfectly still throughout. Some families held hands around the table, creating a circle of connection.
Today’s more secular households might find this religious ritual unfamiliar, and even religious families often practice it less formally than their 1960s counterparts did.
13. Take Small, Manageable Bites
Stuffing your mouth full of food was absolutely unacceptable at proper dinner tables. Washington parents taught their children to cut food into small pieces and take modest bites that could be chewed easily.
This practice prevented choking, allowed for conversation, and looked far more refined than wolfing down large chunks.
Kids learned to cut their meat methodically, taking time with each piece rather than rushing through the meal. The pace of eating slowed down considerably when you followed this rule properly.
I found it frustrating at first because I was always hungry and wanted to finish quickly.
14. No Singing or Humming at the Table
Dinner was meant to be a peaceful, orderly affair in Washington homes during the sixties. Making unnecessary noise like singing, humming, or whistling was considered disruptive and disrespectful.
Children who forgot this rule received quick reminders that mealtime was for eating and polite conversation, not musical performances.
Even tapping utensils rhythmically or drumming fingers on the table was frowned upon. The expectation was calm, quiet behavior that allowed everyone to enjoy their food and each other’s company.
Some kids found this silence oppressive, especially the naturally energetic ones.
Today’s families who might have music playing during dinner or encourage their kids’ spontaneous singing would seem quite chaotic to those strict 1960s households that valued tranquility above all.
15. Use Your Napkin Properly Throughout the Meal
Beyond just placing it on your lap, children had to use their napkins correctly during the meal. This meant dabbing the corners of your mouth gently rather than wiping vigorously like you were cleaning a countertop.
Washington parents demonstrated the proper technique repeatedly until kids mastered this refined gesture.
You were supposed to use your napkin frequently, not just when you had visible food on your face. The napkin stayed folded on your lap between uses and was brought up gracefully when needed.
Leaving it on the table or using your sleeve instead would earn immediate correction.
16. No Playing With Your Food
Food was meant to be eaten, not turned into entertainment. Building mashed potato mountains, making designs with peas, or stirring everything together into a mess was strictly forbidden.
Washington parents viewed food play as wasteful, disrespectful, and a sign of poor upbringing that reflected badly on the entire family.
I once tried to make a face out of my dinner vegetables and received such a stern look that I never attempted it again. The message was clear: food was serious business, not a toy. You ate methodically and purposefully, treating each item with respect.
Today’s parents who might encourage creative food arrangements or overlook harmless play would seem far too permissive to those no-nonsense 1960s adults who ran their dinner tables like military operations.
17. Always Use Please and Thank You
Politeness markers were mandatory at every Washington dinner table during the sixties. Children had to say ‘please’ when requesting anything and ‘thank you’ when receiving it.
These magic words were considered the foundation of civilized interaction, and their absence was immediately noted and corrected.
Simply saying ‘pass the potatoes’ without adding ‘please’ would result in the request being ignored until you rephrased properly.
Gratitude had to be expressed for every single item passed your way, no matter how small. The constant stream of polite phrases became automatic after enough practice.
Modern kids who might communicate more casually with their families would find this level of formality exhausting and overly rigid for simple family interactions at home.
18. Eat Everything on Your Plate
The clean plate club was a real thing in 1960s Washington households. Parents who remembered harder times insisted children finish every last bite before leaving the table.
Wasting food was considered sinful, and picky eating was simply not tolerated in most families of that era.
I sat at the table for over an hour once, staring at cold Brussels sprouts I refused to eat. Eventually, I gave in because nobody was backing down, and I learned that stubbornness had its limits.
Parents portioned your plate, and you were expected to finish it all regardless of your preferences.
19. No Interrupting Adult Conversation
Children were expected to remain quiet unless directly addressed during adult discussions at the table.
Washington parents believed kids should be seen and not heard, especially when grown-ups were talking. Interrupting was considered incredibly rude and would result in swift correction or even removal from the table.
Kids learned to wait patiently for a break in conversation before speaking. Sometimes that break never came, and you just sat there with your unshared thought.
The hierarchy was clear: adults talked first, and children participated only when invited.
20. Place Utensils Correctly When Finished
When you completed your meal, you couldn’t just abandon your fork and knife anywhere on the plate. Washington children learned the proper finished position: utensils placed parallel across the plate at the four o’clock position.
This silent signal told everyone you were done without having to announce it verbally.
Leaving utensils scattered or crossed on your plate looked sloppy and uneducated. The specific angle and placement mattered, and parents taught this detail as carefully as any other rule.
I practiced this positioning until it became second nature, though I didn’t fully understand why it mattered so much.
Today’s kids who might just push their plate away when done would have no idea that utensil placement could communicate anything, let alone follow such specific positioning rules.
21. No Picking Teeth at the Table
Dental hygiene had to wait until you left the dining area. Using toothpicks, fingers, or anything else to clean your teeth while still seated was considered absolutely disgusting.
Washington families maintained that such personal grooming belonged in the bathroom, never at the table where others were still eating.
Even subtle attempts to dislodge food with your tongue were noticed and discouraged. You had to wait until you were properly excused and in private before addressing any dental discomfort.
The rule extended to other grooming behaviors too, like scratching, picking, or adjusting clothing.
22. Participate in Conversation When Addressed
While children couldn’t interrupt adults, they were expected to respond appropriately when included in a discussion.
Washington parents wanted kids to practice conversational skills by answering questions thoughtfully and contributing relevant comments when invited.
Sullen silence or one-word answers were considered disrespectful and would be addressed after the meal.
I learned to prepare topics in my head in case my father asked about my day.
Your responses had to be substantive and polite, showing you valued the interaction. Simply grunting or shrugging was unacceptable behavior that suggested poor upbringing.
Today’s teenagers who might respond with minimal effort to parent questions would need serious attitude adjustments to meet 1960s standards of engaged, articulate participation in family dinner conversations that demonstrated respect and social competence.